"How do I pray?" Diamond's story

Diamond had a young family that she cared about. She wanted them to learn about God, but for that to happen she had to relearn about God first. It had been years since her last prayer, she didn't even know how to start. She wanted to know again today that which she knew years ago. She cracked open the only bible left in the house determined to come back.
Within minutes I was sent to her door.
I came with my companion as two young people showing up out of nowhere, sharing things she had never heard of before and promising that she could know for herself. All she needed to do was read this book and pray.

I was excited as we returned a few days later to share more of our message. We spoke of a gospel that blesses families, a loving Father in Heaven, and how he blesses us today. I saw her get excited. We finish our lessons by inviting the person we teach to pray. What followed was beautiful.
Diamond shared her separation from God and how she felt something missing. The relationship she treasured in the past was hard to find. I helped her find the words: "There isn't a connection."
These are the moments I truly feel alive. I told her:
"You don't have this connection right now, but God is eager to speak to you. The moment you were ready to seek, He sent us. I know His hand is stretched out reaching for you. He is ready to answer you prayers and bless you even more than before."
Diamond understood, but shared, "I feel like I don't know how to pray anymore." Every time she tried it just felt awkward. Diamond wanted to pray, but she didn't know how.
Here is what we taught:

"Start simple. A prayer doesn't need to be eloquent. What matters most to God is that it comes from the heart. Start by addressing God. You can say Heavenly Father, Father in Heaven, or even just God.
"I start by thanking him for things. It reminds me of how much He loves me. I start to see how He has helped me in my life. It also gets me started going.
"Then I start to ask Him things. I ask Him to bless my family, to help me do something, or even a question.
"Always close a prayer by saying in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. If you feel stuck at any point in the prayer and don't know what to do next you can just close it like that.
"The only way to feel comfortable praying is to start praying. We will be here to help at any point if you need us. Will you say a prayer right now?"
There was a brief moment when Diamond mustered up the courage, and then she began to pray. It was one of the briefest prayers I have heard, but it was beautiful. Every first prayer, or first prayer in a long time rings with humble sincerity. She thanked God for sending her help, and asked him to help her as she learns.
I know that as we continue to help Diamond, she will reconnect her relationship with God. It will be stronger than ever before.

Serving Bree

Serving Bree. 

Excerpts from my journal (names changed)

I was at the library with some other missionaries when we received a phone call. When I pulled out the phone, the caller ID read “Bree.” I had no idea who that was at all. The phone had been passed missionary to missionary in the area. We got out of the library quickly and answered. Rapidly we heard her speaking quickly and frantically. I calmed her down and figured out what we could do to help. 

Bree had a U-Haul stuck in her driveway that she couldn't drive back since she didn't have a license. She was going to go to jail over it if it kept staying in her yard since she couldn't pay the fines. She didn’t know who to turn to for help, but she found our number in the phone from when some past missionaries had met her quite a while back. 

Experience had shown there would be more to it, so I got to planning. I felt that I needed to ask Chase and Karri, a young couple from church, to help out as well as a few other missionaries. I didn't know Chase and Karri well, but I felt they should help.

When we got there thankfully Karri was there as there was also a rambunctious grandchild that needed to be watched the whole time. To our great surprise we also needed to unload the U-Haul at the storage place into the smallest storage unit I have ever seen. I knew from the start that it wouldn't all fit. All of her stuff was in a mess in the back of the U-Haul since her neighbors showed little care in loading it for her when she first got the truck. 

Photo from we-ha.com

Furniture and clothes were everywhere in piles. Somehow we managed to arrange, rearrange, dissemble, and get it all pushed in barely. As we did that I noticed it was getting late for us to still be out. I looked at Bree and knew something. I may not have ever met her before, nor understood what had led her to her current predicament. I did know that she needed help and the few of us were the only people trying to help. I couldn’t leave her there until we had done all we could. This is what I want to be. 

When we got back to her place we said a prayer with her and gave her a copy of the Book of Mormon. She was so grateful and expressed her desire to read it. It may not seem like much, but I have seen people learn how to access Jesus Christ’s power from his sacrifice by reading that book. I couldn’t change her life situation, but I could give her the key.

We talked with Chase about it and in light of the talks about service we had heard the past few days (here are those talks). He and his wife had been talking about needing to do more service and one day later I called them up. One blessing he noticed was that by serving others his worries seemed much less overwhelming. I was glad that we were able to help and give him a good experience.

I saw God’s hand moving us in position to serve for that very moment to help with something that seemed so small to us. He loves Bree and cares about her cares. This was something God cared about. His hand is always moving us around to serve his children.

"...the Lord will move us on that seeming chessboard to do His work" -Elder Ronald A. Rasband

Where do I go with a missionary moment?

This is the moment I have been waiting for. My friend just asked me why Mormons believe we lived before this life. My missionary moment!
In the next 5 minutes, I laid out on paper the entire Plan of Salvation from the moment God introduced it in the premortal existence to the goal becoming like our Heavenly Father and living with him again. I blew her mind with awe for God's plan. I could see her joining me on that path to follow Christ. Yet to this day nothing in her life has changed in that direction due to that great missionary moment. I didn't fail to explain the doctrine to her, but something was missing from our gospel discussion.
Since that time, I have begun to serve as a full time missionary. I have gained an understanding on how someone goes from that first gospel conversation to joining the church trying to endure to the end.
Phase one: Our member missionary moments. These gospel conversations reignite our fire for member missionary work as we get the opprotunity to explain the truths we hold dearly. This prepares our friends to receive the gospel.
Phase two: Missionaries teach the Restored gospel of Jesus Christ. The people that have been prepared through past gospel conversations now are receptive and go through the process of gaining a testimony of their own. 

From: lds.org

Phase three: Baptism and enduring to the end. I always see this vista of a person's life changing by their reception of the gospel. They forsake bad habits and become a disciple of Jesus Christ. One day they will be dressed in white in the Celestial Kingdom. It is amazing to think that their path started back on that simple missionary moment I had with them.
I know that the path from phase two to phase three is straightforward. I spend a lot of time and effort as a missionary preparing those I teach for baptism. The path from our missionary moment to the person meeting with the missionaries is not so clear. In the good old days missionaries would just knock on everyone's doors and those who were interested would let them in. Today it doesn't work like that. Our culture has changed.
When I knock on a door as a missionary, I have learned something. People today don't like their doors being knocked. Even if they want to hear the gospel, the fact that it is coming by strangers knocking on their door turns them off. These people who have been the recipient of so many missionary moments and gospel conversations then reject what all of that was leading up towards simply becuase of the way it was introduced.
How do those God has prepared meet with the missionaries?
I ask them.
I know this person is prepared, we were led to have a gospel conversation. I see the vista of them receiving all the joy of the gospel. My missionary moment needs just one addition. I need to ask my friend to meet with missionaries.
The chasm between the gospel conversation and them receiving the gospel is bridged. I see the great view, but now I also see the bridge to get them there. I go into every gospel conversation with a goal in mind, and a plan to get there.

From: www.goodfreephotos.com 

When I was feeling down.

From: https://www.publicdomainpictures.net

I am happy to be here today. I am happy to be a missionary. I am happy to be able to help so many people come unto Christ. 

I felt a bit down last week. I started to feel like I just wasn't good enough, I didn't feel motivated, I didn't feel the fire within. There wasn't some noticeable trigger. It wasn't like everything had just gone wrong. Things were happening that should have made me happy. I would be together with friends and it was almost like I was just there as they had a good time without me. 

I was asked on a conference call what was something I wanted to make improvements on. It was at that point that I realized I needed to get more motivated. I have seen friends get down, and stay down for extended periods of time. Often I have been there to offer support and remind them that someone cares. Days walking through the rain reminding friends that the problems they face will one day be past, months of sending emails with no reply until one day I hear the good news that something good has happened, and other times made me feel something. I felt that with all the helping I have given others on getting down, I should not be stuck feeling these things. I felt I should have been happy and optimistic always. 

I was studying one morning when I realized something. I needed the very help I have given so many times. My mind flooded with memories of the things I have suggested to help. I remembered the guidance to exercise and work hard. I remembered the counsel to get past myself and serve others. I remembered the many times I have born testimony that there is someone that knows exactly what I am going through and that he is there to help. I remembered the countless articles I have read trying to lift others up. Then I decided to act.

The first thing I did was pull out my journal and honestly assess my feelings. I found it hard to write about my struggles and weaknesses, yet as I wrote I was able to understand what I was feeling better. I also was able to realize that it will not last forever. 

I then began to pray and pour out my soul. I told my Father in Heaven that I was struggling. I told him I needed some help. I began to feel something as I did. I knew that he knew what I was going through, I knew he loved me, I knew that he was ready to help me. It is hard to explain how that feeling came. It started as a prick in my heart. As I prayed, that prick grew into a warm feeling of comfort. It wasn't a temperature change, it was more like something inside had hugged me. I could feel peace. 

The next few days I was certain to exercise hard, work hard, and focus my days on serving others. It was a few days ago when I noticed something as I walked down the hall of the church building. I was smiling without even meaning to do so. The past few days it has kept happening. Due to car trouble, I ended up walking all day Wednesday. No matter how long the trek seemed to be, I would always notice that I was smiling. 

I know what I feel now. It is hope. Hope always beats despair when I let in the help from on high. I will have days where I am down again. Not every day will there be a smile on my face. 

But I know where to find that smile.

Why do I blog?

There are questions that many people have:
"Where do I come from?"
"What is the purpose of life?"
"How do I find direction?"
"Where do I find lasting happiness?"
Instead of just posting the answers as essays, I want to share experiences of how I discover these answers and how I help others learn what I know.
You want to know the truth. I want to say the truth.
If you don't find the answer to these questions or other questions of the soul, feel free to contact me and ask.